TheOnion Aquarius: Remember: It's not that you can't find happiness in life, it's that you *won't* find happiness in life http://bit.ly/KuwFY

 

robcorddry I won't see Observe and Report because the Seth Rogen character was based on my life and I did not authorize that shit!

 

jimgaffigan Happy Easter. My kids eating Easter candy. Anxiously awaiting impending diarrhea

 

spacetrucker On this day 2000 yrs ago, a guy nailed to a piece of wood looked over to the other guy & said, Helluva way to spend Easter weekend ain't it?

 

tqnews I've got it ! The Casey Anthony defense team is being bankrolled by...NANCY GRACE !!!

 

TheOnion Sports: World's 467,357th-Ranked Tennis Player Working On Serving Overhand http://bit.ly/Blzs

 

tqnews Another one of those NRA divorces today in Alabama. Helps alleviate the logjam in family court. Keeps ammunition industry healthy. and SUCKS