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It was May 5th, 1964. Pyllyis Diller was working the USO shows in Saigon. Kim Jong Il, a known groupie of the USO snuck into Vietnam, blew a roadie to get back stage, and introduced himself to Diller. (Do not read-on if you plan on eating anytime soon.) The two hit it off right away. They went back to a hotel, and proceeded to have what can only be described as an utterly grotesque tryst that would make a goat puke (assuming the goat understood English, of coarse). 9 months later, on February 10th, 1964 Glen Beck was born. A coincidence? I don’t think so. Just look at the similarities between Kim and Beck below:

They both greatly exaggerate: Kim calls his country "The Democratic Peoples Republic of North Korea", and Beck calls his show "informative". Kim claims to shoot three to four "holes-in-one" every round of golf, and Beck claims to be a "good Christian". 

Kim is an asshole, and so is Beck.

Kim was born on the “Year of the Pig”, Beck is a pig.

Kim and Beck Both act like 6 year olds.

Kim owns a propaganda machine, and Beck works for one.

Kim is Insane, and Beck’s show is criminally insane. 

… and they both claim to care about people.


Now for the looks. This photo below should remove any doubt that you have so far:


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Need I say more. The resemblance is uncanny! I just can’t believe that this charade has been able to go on for so many years! Talk about a lack of investigative reporting. I have already contacted @Winkfromblueyes and @tqnews. They are on the case, and gathering up more information. Please stand-by!

Thanks Ajax.
 



There I was on twitter a while back when @winkfromblueyes tweets me a Billy Idol song on Grooveshark. I listened with pleasure, and then confessed to Winky that I’ve always had this theory that Billy Idol is really Jim Morrison. This was a loose theory based on the similarity of their voices. But when Winky confessed to me that she also thought that Idol could be the former front man of the Doors I had to investigate. Here is what we have so far:


Google “Billy Idol images”, and you will not find a single picture of Billy Idol before 1974.

Listen to “Eyes Without a Face”, and tell me this does not sound exactly like Morrison.


Then there is the looks. Below is a side bye side photo. Notice the shadow I highlighted between the cheekbone and jaw. Also the nose, and jaw line.

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Below is an interview with Letterman in 1983. Notice how uncomfortable he becomes when Dave starts asking Idol about his childhood.


According to the Record Billy Idol should be 53 to 54 today. Below is an interview with ET. Does this look like a 53 year old? He looks closer to 68 which is how old Morrison would be today. Also note in this interview that Idol alludes to many overdoses, but there is only one known overdose when it comes to Billy Idol.


I realize that this is a crazy theory, but fun to think about. If we could start a rumor that Idol is in fact Morrison. It would only help Idol’s career, and record sales. So If you know of any other coincidences between Morrison, and Idol please leave a comment, e-mail me, or tell me that I’m off my rocker! 

Thanks Ajax
 

 

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By Mike Luckovich